Comet War: NASA tests new weapon

Artist view of LCROSS stage separation

At 5:30 am MDT, Terran Space Forces tested a new weapon in the Interplanetary War against the evil Comet Realm. The spent Centaur stage of the LCROSS system impacted into a crater near the Moon's south pole, followed a few minutes later by the crash of the observation probe that accompanied it. NASA telescopes and observers around the world are scanning the area to analyze the debris cloud. Of course, most of us slept through it, unaware of the bold stroke mankind prepares in its effort to thwart the enemy's plans.

Speculation abounds over the mission of the LCROSS system.

A leading critic of the administration has panned the effort as a mega-dollar boondoggle. "We already know how to smash things. Our military should at least have tried this years before against one of the enemy's impactors. All we've proven is we know we can hit the side of a barn."

Target: Cabeus Crater

Some speculate, however, that this was more than a test. NASA has speculated for some time that there could be deposits of water ice located at the moon's poles were there are permanent crater shadows. So far, only Dr. Bernhard of the Asteroid War Institute has ever put forth the idea that the enemy had actually established a hidden outpost on the Moon. If true, this mission would be Earth's fist counterattack against an enemy that has been at war with Earth since before recorded history.

Apollo 14 third stage impact site

The development of this mission stems from the accidental bounty of information gathered from the Apollo program. After seismic sensors were placed by the astronauts of Apollo 12, the third stage of Apollo 14 crashed into a desolate empty plain on the Moon's surface. Sensor data led NASA engineers to believe that a fast moving empty stage could cause sever devastation to a region around the impact site, even without an explosive warhead.

Of course, there are still doubters out there. This reporter has even heard a relatively unknown theory that this was a mere science experiment designed to look for traces of water in the resultant debris cloud. Here at the Space Rubble Command Bunker, we'll place that one right with the Flat Moon believers.

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